this wednesday morning, my mom checks into the hospital to have surgery. nothing big, at least if you listen to the surgeon — just removing some vertebrae, fusing them together, shoving a rod in there, and putting everything back together. i suppose you want that confidence out of a surgeon, but i’ve seen LOST, i see what can happen during spinal surgery. to make myself feel better about it, i kind of joke about my mom become some sort of bumper car with a big metal rod sticking out of her back keeping her on the track. or maybe a shopping cart at a small supermarket that can’t leave the store. but really, i’m pretty upset about the whole thing.

four years ago, my dad checked into the hospital pretty much exactly this time of the year to have what should have been routine surgery. the day after christmas, they found a gigantic tumor on his bladder that was inoperable, and they had to remove his bladder. a little more than two months of passing from hospital to rehab center and back, he passed away in early march. it sucked. it still sucks. it makes me not really enjoy this time of year, and i’m much more of a fan of the time off from school than i am of christmas itself.

it was a terrible christmas. christmas morning was a rushed affair, ripping open some gifts with henry before rushing to the hospital to hang out there all day with my parents. but our car was having trouble, and there was some ludicrous situation where we needed to whack the starter with a swiffer mop handle that we pseudo-affectionately called the “whacking stick,” but then after starting the car we locked the car keys inside the running car. but we eventually got the car started and opened, presents opened, and i ended up eating a bowl of lucky charms at the hospital cafeteria. 

did i mention that my car (a different one) is having absurd troubles now, too?

this should be no big deal. in and out, they say. but i’ve got an absolute feeling of dread about the next couple of days, and i’m especially thankful that the surgical gods decided that it would be a good idea to schedule surgery so that our christmas would again be a rushed affair with a hospital trip later that day.

sigh. maybe next year…